Does Corporate America Cause Mental Disorders?

I want a real, wholesome study on PLoS One to tell me whether living a stressed out, unsatisfied life in Corporate America actually causes mental disorders.

I see studies about stress and mental disorder (1), I see studies of stress and physical ailment (2). I see articles about workplace stress and mental health concerns (which, by the way, completely avoids the question of whether workplace stress could cause mental health concerns by saying that it is possible to have mental health concerns without workplace stress). or there's this one, that just says that a source of stress, which can make existing mental health worse, is work.

But I want to see a study.

I wonder if our rates of depression and anxiety have anything to do with jobs in cubicles. I would like to know what percentage of cubicle-dwellers are depressed. I mean really now.

I'll tell you some of my theories:

Lack of security. Corporate America is all about having a nice secure paycheck, right? Wrong! We all know that any day, regardless of how hard we worked or how well we did our jobs, we could get laid off. Whether it's a merger or a slow year, none of us is safe.

It's not personal--it's business. We spend most of our waking hours with these people, but it's "not personal". What a way to dehumanize anyone!

It's just not fair. We're surrounded by racism, sexism, and (other) unethical behaviors. In fact, at many companies, the people who are best at the Blame Game tend to rise to the top.

In Triplicate Let's say it together: bureaucracy. Nothing is more maddening than not being able to get anything done.

I could go on and on, but these four should be enough to start off a study. If anyone knows of a study, please comment so I can read it. I'd really appreciate it!

Update: What serendipity! It's not PLoS One, but yesterday (the day of the original post) the American Psychological Association released "Stress in America", which (ta-da!) reports that 70% of people are stressed about work. Slightly more are stressed out about money.

Let's look at that number: 70%. 7 in ten people. Let's pick you and the nine people sitting closest to you. Only three of them aren't stressed about work.

And guess how many people are dealing with their stress? By hiding at home watching TV and guzzling soda in between fistfuls of gummy worms (guilty!).

People, what are we doing to ourselves? Let's get this straight: we're choosing this for ourselves. It is totally possible to live off-the-grid or nearly so, and to pull utility expenses WAY down. By not doing these things, by participating in our very unhealthy materialistic culture, we are choosing to make ourselves sick.

Now you and I have a question to answer: what are you (what am I) going to do about it?

Life in Storage

Among the many gifts bestowed upon me by The Four Day Win by Martha Beck, PhD., my favorite has got to be talking to my inner child/right brain* through a writing exercise. In the exercise, after visualizing yourself as a child, you write down (with your dominant writing hand) a question for her, and with your nondominant hand, you write down her answer. There’s a lot of anger and profanity at first, (reminiscent of “automatic writing”, huh?), but after that dies down, there are some kernels of truth.

For me, the hardest kernel was this accusation: You put your life in storage.

That still drops me. I mean, hit me in the face and call it sunshine, that’s a freaking epiphany.

I really did put my life in storage. We all do. When we have a talent, or a gift, and we say to ourselves, “I’ll just put this away until ____ and then I’ll use it again,” or “I want to _____, but I’ll do it later,” or even “I’ll be happy when _____” what is all that but putting our talents in storage? For me, I always said, “I’ll live like they want me to until the kids are grown, and then I’ll pursue my dreams.” In fact, it started even earlier, when I wanted to be a writer but didn’t think I could support myself that way (circa second grade. Um, Mom and Dad? Not to point fingers or anything, but how does a second-grader get to evaluating her financial solvency in potential careers?).

Even rebellion is, in most cases, just putting our lives in storage. When we consciously rebel, we are often doing the exact opposite of what someone wants us to do, and specifically not doing what we want/need to do (I know there are exceptions, but think teenagers). The person with the expectation is still the one in control, not us. And we’re over there like, “Until they let me do what I want, I’ll show them.” But who’s got the power?

No, the person over there quietly doing what he/she wants to do without the theatrics is the one who is actually living.

So there we have it. Through youthful rebellion, to not-so-youthful “accepting responsibility” via cowing to the expectations of an abusive ex-, well-meaning family and friends, and society at large, and through the second stage of rebellion (from ex-), I put my life in storage.

I don’t know yet how much permanent harm was done. I do know that my life is a little dusty, but still seems to be there. There is hope that a good wash and a few coats of paint will liven it right up again.

There is hope.

*I will not be addressing the whole left brain/right brain debate. New information comes to light back and forth, including a recent (Nov ‘11, Dec ‘11, Jan ‘12?) edition of Scientific American I just read. You know what I mean by “right brain”, so work with me)

Celebrating "Lasts"

Today I celebrate lasts. This morning was the last morning that I will have to be chauffered to work. This morning was the last morning that I have to un-stink the sponges because hubby refuses to use one sponge at a time.

This was the last time I had to arrange a lunch pick-up time.

Then, it was the last time he dropped me off at work, and did the last "Love you, have a good day, BE GOOD," thing.

Hopefully tonight will hold the last insinuated accusation of sleeping with other people.


I am scared, but I am determined.

I am leaving my husband.

For those who have been reading along and want to know the jump between "Is this abusive" and "Hasta Luego", well, I was basically going to leave anyway, but I got sidetracked by the abuse question. That question got answered by my analysis of his behavior. Then my analyses were confirmed. Then my whole supposition was confirmed by my best friends and my sister, who were relieved I was finally talking about it and seeing it.

Here's a note: Once you see abusive behavior, it becomes easier to recognize, even in your own spouse.

To top that, my eldest asked me if we could leave sooner than the original plan (which was Spring).

So what could I do then? I had to start making my exit strategy.

And so I did.

And so I planned it out.

And so it will happen tomorrow.

And today, I celebrate lasts.